I haven't lived non-monogamy for very long, only 4 years at this point, although I've had the idea around me for 12 years now, so I've been familiar with the existence of non-normative relationships for basically my entire love life. That's a privilege, as I've found. My loneliness trauma has also had a field day with it.
If you always borrow from tomorrow, you'll eventually break.
Der letzte Eintrag ist ein halbes Jahr her, viele schlimme Dinge sind passiert, mir gehts viel besser, Zeit für ein Update.
Habt ihr schonmal das Gefühl erlebt dass nichts mehr geht? Dass alles vorbei ist? Dass es das jetzt war? Völlige Hilflosigkeit, durch welche das Gehirn dann auch aufgibt zu versuchen den Zusammenbruch zu verhindern? Und dann weint man nur noch weil das das letzte ist was man tun kann? Ausnahmsweise rede ich nicht von einem depressiven Auslöser.
Tonight, I breached yet another milestone on my way out of depression: I cried at the end of Arrival.
One of the most positive things in my life in the last couple of weeks, which has both shown me how good I'm feeling now and how much more positive everything is for me, is the incredible beauty of spring.
This January 2018, my former partner and I had to break up. Our depressions were triggering each other too hard. We just spent two great weeks together, and decided that we can't be in a relationship.
I just went through a bunch of old songs I used to like a lot. I found When I'm Gone by Eminem, which is about how he dismisses/ignores his child and family for his work, and being confronted for it by his young daughter. I watched its music video - and started crying hard. Not … Continue reading Feeling loved
Vor ungefähr einer Woche ist die Beziehung mit meinem Lieblingsmenschen auf einen Höhe-, bzw. in diesem Kontext Tiefpunkt gekocht. Unserer beider Depressionen und psychischen Eigenheiten die wir uns nicht aussuchen haben sich immer mehr gegenseitig verstärkt und verschlimmert.
It took over 24 hours for my brain battery to run out of juice. I didn't sleep well, 5 hours at most waking up a lot (as always in changed environments, and this was even an entirely new one), 2 more hours over the day, and I've been among people pretty much constantly. That's... incredible. … Continue reading Family