It took over 24 hours for my brain battery to run out of juice. I didn't sleep well, 5 hours at most waking up a lot (as always in changed environments, and this was even an entirely new one), 2 more hours over the day, and I've been among people pretty much constantly. That's... incredible. … Family weiterlesen
This. Oh dear.
I was depressed for the better part of a decade, and I spent most of it trying to die and not to die. I had become intolerant of the simplest parts of staying alive: eating, working, sleeping.
I crossed the road without looking.
I fell asleep in the bath.
I returned to suicidal matters for the third time that year.
I just wanted my brain to shut up, but on it went, year upon year. Then my emotions retreated, and I returned to numbness.
There are no easy ways to kill yourself, and few painless ways to die. Through all my planning, I was brought back to life raging, churning my suicidal ideation around and around in my mind as though it would curdle if I stopped.
Depression is relentless. It chips away your character until the only things left are the skeletal remains of your old self. I couldn’t…
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Dieses Jahr war eine komplette Achterbahn für mich in fast allen Bereichen außer denen, die vorher meistens Achterbahnen verursacht haben.
For a few minutes after having finished watching, I didn't know what to say. Everyone who knows me how rare that is - everyone who knows me probably never even ever saw me speechless. Episode 3 of season 4 of Sherlock hit me like nothing I have ever seen in any show, videogame, or movie. … Finding an emotional needle in a haystack of self-protection weiterlesen
I just finished watching a lecture about love and autism, which talks a lot especially about social situations with autists.
I got a digital ancestry (family tree) from my grandparents for christmas. I actually never really looked into it, but I did now.
I watched some (new) feels-focused videos, and now I’m on a heavy feels-trip. Having any emotions at all is so rare for me currently the smallest stuff hits hard. It went downhill right when I got out of stationary therapy june last year, but going off my meds around new year’s eve caused a week-long heavily … #notjustsad weiterlesen
One of my favourite people on earth is Thomas "TomSka" Ridgewell, known for the asdf-movies on his YouTube-Channel, which was my favourite thing as a teenager and is still way high up there today. Since over a year, he releases a weekly ~30-minute-vlog on his second channel. It is full of his personal- and work-life, … Improving lives weiterlesen
EDIT: Ca. einen Monat nach diesem Beitrag hat der Alkohol aufgehört zu funktionieren, also hab ich aufgehört ihn zu trinken. - Ja, es stimmt. Ich habe angefangen, Alkohol zu trinken. Ich bin noch bei wenig, ein, höchstens zwei Drinks alle 1-2 Tage im Rahmen von 10-20cl höherprozentigem (20-40%), gemischt mit Softdrinks. Ohne es zu mischen kann … Bewältigung weiterlesen
Dieser Post wurde so von mir auf dem SubReddit /r/SuicideWatch veröffentlicht. Kopie kommt hier rein, der Vollständigkeit halber. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am writing this here, because until now I had a blog in german for venting or just writing about my thoughts & life, but now I'm fluent enough in english to write this kind of … /r/SuicideWatch weiterlesen