This January 2018, my former partner and I had to break up. Our depressions were triggering each other too hard. We just spent two great weeks together, and decided that we can't be in a relationship.

I just went through a bunch of old songs I used to like a lot. I found When I'm Gone by Eminem, which is about how he dismisses/ignores his child and family for his work, and being confronted for it by his young daughter. I watched its music video - and started crying hard. Not … Continue reading Feeling loved

Vor ungefähr einer Woche ist die Beziehung mit meinem Lieblingsmenschen auf einen Höhe-, bzw. in diesem Kontext Tiefpunkt gekocht. Unserer beider Depressionen und psychischen Eigenheiten die wir uns nicht aussuchen haben sich immer mehr gegenseitig verstärkt und verschlimmert.

This. Oh dear.

Dieses Jahr war eine komplette Achterbahn für mich in fast allen Bereichen außer denen, die vorher meistens Achterbahnen verursacht haben.

For a few minutes after having finished watching, I didn't know what to say. Everyone who knows me how rare that is - everyone who knows me probably never even ever saw me speechless. Episode 3 of season 4 of Sherlock hit me like nothing I have ever seen in any show, videogame, or movie. … Continue reading Finding an emotional needle in a haystack of self-protection

I just finished watching a lecture about love and autism, which talks a lot especially about social situations with autists.

I got a digital ancestry (family tree) from my grandparents for christmas. I actually never really looked into it, but I did now.

I watched some (new) feels-focused videos, and now I’m on a heavy feels-trip. Having any emotions at all is so rare for me currently the smallest stuff hits hard. It went downhill right when I got out of stationary therapy june last year, but going off my meds around new year’s eve caused a week-long heavily … Continue reading #notjustsad